First off, I'm a sucker for roadside attractions. Show me the world's largest ball of twine or a giant dinosaur made of cement, and I'm pulling over posthaste.
I'm there. I'm there with camera in hand. I'm there with friends in tow. I'm there with picnic lunch packed. And money for tacky souvenirs crammed in my jeans.
But for whatever reason, I had never braved the Lost Sea Adventure. The billboards along I-75 near Chattanooga have been tantalizing my inner Clark Griswold for years.
An Indiana Jones-esque font advertises this cave and underground lake in Sweetwater, Tenn., approximately three hours north of Atlanta.
What could possibly lurk below? Light-deprived humanoids? Sasquatch? Tour guides with cricket-chirping one liners?
Long overdue, the journey to the Lost Sea Adventure proved more about history and natural wonders than roadside kitsch. The fascinating trek through Craighead Caverns and the accompanying boat ride are short enough for a reasonable road trip pit stop, and close and super cool enough for a one-tank weekend romp.
The walk
You enter the cave through the gift shop. That's where guests descend through a banana bright tunnel that could've been a set piece for "Star Trek." Your guide awaits at the end of the tunnel ready to start the approximate one-hour tour.
A name like Lost Sea evokes boat ride. Sure, that's a part of it, but don't forget the comfy shoes. The half-mile jaunt to the lake and the quarter-mile walk back takes place along the often bumpy cave terrain.
But don't turn around just yet. It's devoid of steps. And our group included a 90-year-old man and a couple thrusting a stroller, all of whom seemingly made it through sans stress. That's despite the incline during the post-lake walk.
The experience is just too fascinating for worry. The winding walkways jag through the cave, lights illuminating an otherworldly, Mars-like landscape.
The enclosure is jagged, brownish rock, some toned with limestone and others adorned with "cave flowers," or anthodites. In between quips, our guide said the protruding anthodites are truly rare formations that grow just 1 centimeter every 1,000 years.
One minute you're ducking under rock formations; the next, you're gazing in amazement at a wide open cave chamber. The latter includes the Council Room, a place where the cave's former owner, Cherokee Chief Craighead, might have presided over meetings.
It's like a stroll through a Discovery Channel TV special or a waltz through a time capsule. Keep an eye out for Civil War graffiti. With the help of a torch flame, a Confederate soldier burned the date 1863 into a cave wall.
Catch a glimpse of a moonshine still left over from the early 1900s when bootleggers used the remote confines as a refuge for brewing corn squeezings.
And check out boxes of crackers, which were to be used as rations when the cave was a designated 1960s fallout shelter.
The boat ride
Arriving at the underground lake, the largest of its kind in America, folks board glass-bottom boats, each holding as many as 26 passengers. Drivers scoot the boat slowly around the 4 1/2 acre lake and dare visitors to dip their hands into the crispy water, which remains a constant 56 degrees.
Hefty rainbow trout cruise underneath, some splashing just below the surface. The fish aren't indigenous to the lake and were first brought in 1967. Because of the darkness, the fish lose 20 percent of their vision and 70 percent of their color, but not their appetite. With no natural grub available, workers feed the fish. The largest ever caught — 16.7 pounds — has been immortalized in the gift shop.
Skip looking through the glass-bottom feature and opt for peering over the edge. You might get a better look at the trout and other features like the 30-ton rock that fell into the lake some 2,000 years ago.
Don't forget
Make sure to bring your camera, although it's tough snagging a picture in the darkness. Fortunately, postcards are available in the gift shop for a mere 25 cents. Other ephemera like Lost Sea mesh trucker caps ($4.49 each), shot glasses ($1.59 each) and more are plastered with affordable price tags.
The surrounding Old Sweetwater Village has a few rustic sights worth a look including a glorified snack bar, ice cream parlor, glass blowing shop and nature trail.
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