The holiday season can be a particularly busy time for families, with everything from mall photos with Santa to class Christmas parties to Elf on the Shelf demanding attention and care. All of that constant fun often leaves out parents, with the season sometimes being more stressful than the rest of the year.

However, the holidays should be enjoyable for the entire family, even the parents.

In a 2023 survey, market researchers Civic Science found a majority of U.S. parents say they feel additional stress during the holiday season, with 19% saying they experience “a lot more stress.”

“Understanding what we do that creates more stress than we need is the first step toward reclaiming some sanity this season,” therapist Nico Feliciano said in a column for Today.com, saying parents “deserve more than just sanity.”

Even with busy holiday schedules, parents can still find peace and joy during this season.

Practice intentionality

The holidays can often bring out a desire for “picture perfect” moments, especially for parents. However, these moments don’t always turn out the way you wanted them to.

In these moments, instead focus on being intentional about what you want your family to receive emotionally from the experience.

Feliciano said parents should try to identify the moments that truly matter during this season, and when they are in them they should release distractions and “guard your focus.”

Give yourself grace

The constant tasks and high expectations of the holidays can lead to disappointments. Instead of dwelling on them, parents should give themselves grace and take pride in the things that did go right.

If a visit to a relative’s house ended in tears for one of your littles, be proud you got the family there dressed in their holiday best. If a gift does not get the reception you expected, celebrate that you went out of your way to try to find something thoughtful and unique.

Connection over perfection

There are many moving parts during the month of December, especially for parents, but it is important to remember to keep connections a high priority, Feliciano said.

“I often remind myself that my kids aren’t going to remember the perfectly wrapped gifts symmetrically placed around the tree, but they will remember how they felt during the holidays,” Feliciano said in her Today.com column. “Sometimes, a stronger connection might mean letting go of that elaborate brunch for a simpler one.”

She goes on to say parents should prioritize spontaneous moments of connection over all of the big stuff.