As an aesthestian who specializes in Brazilian waxes, one might think that there wouldn’t be anything outside of Adriane Benson’s comfort zone. One would be wrong.
Because Benson “talks to people about the weirdest things in a very weird situation,” she wanted to share her experiences in a way that absolutely scared her — stand-up comedy. “I did it as a way to break out of my comfort zone and show my kids that you can be brave and do something that scared you. The first time I did it I had to keep telling myself that there wasn’t a guillotine on the other side of the curtain. I just had to survive five minutes — and I did.”
Credit: Handout
Credit: Handout
Benson’s foray into stand-up and going outside her comfort zone is repeated by people who want to challenge themselves, rid themselves of phobias, shake up their lives or are simply tired of people telling them to “just do it.”
There are many reasons why people choose to go outside their comfort zones say Dr. Peter Thomas, a psychologist. “It’s a way to define who you are — like Tom Cruise. Adrenaline. It fulfills you to go beyond what others think you should be doing. There’s also a sense of personal development — of stretching yourselves. And, of course, some have a desire to face their fears and be their most genuine self.”
The desire to be his most genuine self prompted Charles Warren to leave a high paying consulting job where he “had a wonderful experience with the absolutely greatest team and the best boss ever” and start Wood Valley Travel & Media, which takes clients on fishing and photography trips around the world. “I was doing the total opposite of what I should have been doing. It broke me down. I was getting sick from stress. There is no way the rest of my life was supposed to be this way. I was terrified of walking out that door. I just looked at myself and my life and did it.”
Credit: Will Taylor
Credit: Will Taylor
His first international trip was to Cancun with eight clients where they drove six hours to a five-star hotel. “We had no power. There’s a revolution going on a few hours north. I was shaking with anxiety worrying if someone was going to get shot. There were drug planes flying around us. I was freaking out but it ended up being unbelievably great.”
Adding, “If you don’t make an uncomfortable decision to truly live your life, you’re not going to be as happy as you could be.”
Dr. Erica Bacher, a clinical psychologist and owner of Evolve Counseling and Wellness Center, says people go outside their comfort zone because, well, it’s too comfortable. “Sometimes you have to push yourself otherwise you’re at risk of being depressed, unfilled, unsatisfied and stagnant. If you’re not moving forward, you’re moving backward.”
Two years ago Mandy Lauderdale was a recently divorced mother starting her business and spending her first Thanksgiving alone. Much younger neighbors whom she barely knew, invited her to join them. A medical aesthetician and owner of MedSpa in Candler Park, she “exposed my whole heart to these people.” Then, one of them asked her what she did for fun.
“I burst into tears again because I didn’t have an answer. I was in survival mode. Fun, self-care were the last things on my mind.”
Skydiving was the answer. “On the 20th anniversary of her father’s passing, who skydived, she and her sister jumped in tandem. “I found my thing. I found what I want to do for fun. I’ve been hooked ever since. It’s a very dangerous sport that can be done safely. It’s exciting but extremely peaceful.”
Strong enough?
Sometimes people push themselves out of their comfort zone because they’re tired of living with a fear, such as a fear of flying, animals or crowds. Dr. Thomas’ wife has a fear of heights and went to the glass observation platform in the Sears Building in Chicago. “It was a real challenge to push herself onto that platform,” he says. “She walked up to it and looked over several times. Then she put one foot over the other and walked out. She crawled back. If she did it again, it would be with less trepidation. It was personal development.”
Jacque Digieso, co-founder of The Cottage School in Roswell, went zip lining in Costa Rica. It was “outside my comfort zone. It was a fear … like terror. I was thinking ‘What if … I don’t have to do this’. I had to get over this fear I was going to die. At my age I don’t want to do things that are very risky like riding a horse or skiing.”
Her decision was pragmatic. “If I fell off a horse and was injured, the recuperation wouldn’t be pretty. If I fell zip lining, I’d never know it.” She hooked herself up, went over the treetops, saw an eagle and with every platform gained more confidence. “I was so proud. It was thrilling. It wasn’t just fun; it was an adrenaline rush that we don’t allow ourselves to do.”
Put up or shut up
Another reason why people venture outside their comfort zone is that they finally stop talking about doing something and just do it. Josephine Worthington had talked about writing a novel for years. “People told me forever that I had a book in me. I was afraid of failure. I finally got over being scared and decided to do it. You lose your fear of failure as you get older.” She has a publisher and is writing “Write Your Resume Upside Down,” a guide to hiring unconventional job applicants.
“Trust the people around you who are supporting you on the journey. Just go for it or you’ll regret it. If your dreams don’t scare you, they’re not big enough. I’m going for it.”
Credit: Handout
Credit: Handout
New Beginnings
Sometimes, going outside your comfort zone has unexpected results. Lauderdale has since gotten her A-license and is working toward a B-license, which allows her to do beach landings, night jumps and jumps from special aircraft such as helicopters. She is also dating a fellow skydiver.
Benson, who did rounds of open mike nights, now does stand-up professionally. “I’ve been on stage where no one laughed for five minutes, which is a really, really long time. It’s soul sucking.”
Her kids are “cool” with her talking about them while her husband has seen her perform twice. “He’s been with me 30 years; he’s seen the show.”
Credit: Handout
Credit: Handout
Benson, who works for Lifetime Fitness in Sandy Springs, says stand-up is a creative outlet for self-expression that has given her more confidence.
“Be patient with yourself but push yourself,” she says. “You’ll find that great happiness is on the other side of that fear. Even if it doesn’t go the way you think, you are someone who tried something they were afraid of. That’s a win. You did it. That’s the win.”
GO FOR IT
The Laugh Lab. laughlabcomedy.com.
Wood Valley Travel & Media. woodvalleytravel.com.
Skydive Georgia. 493 Airport Road, #5049, Cedartown. 770-684-3483, skydivegeorgia.com.
Screaming Eagle Zipline and Aerial Adventures. Various prices depending on level. cncziplines.com.
Unicoi State Park. 1788 Ga. 356, Helen. 706-878-4740, ext. 275, unicoizipline.com
Dad’s Garage. 569 Ezzard St., Atlanta. 404-523-3141, dadsgarage.com/improvclasses
Jeff Justice Comedy Workshoppe. Six-week classes. The Punchline, Landmark Diner, 3652 Roswell Road, Atlanta. 404-312-3404, comedyworkshoppe.com.
Evolve Counseling and Wellness Center. 1074 Ponce de Leon Ave., Atlanta. 404-862-0032, evolvewellcenter.com
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