As time passes, friendships are found in the most unlikely of places. Happenstance and without agenda. Often, people you gravitate toward don’t fit the mold of past relationships. Shared passions and goals connect lives, regardless of age or background. As seasons of life change, navigating the expected as well as the unfamiliar is best piloted with a kindred spirit.
Laughter is the ideal mixer
The mandatory Friday 5 p.m. cocktail call between Peggy Brown, 89, and Chip Brock, 66, was in full swing.
Confirming cocktails in hand, Brock said, “Are you having an appetizer with yours, Peggy? “Yours” was the cocktail that Peggy and her husband discovered in Miami decades ago. “It was the best martini I’ve ever had,” she said, and this notable recipe has been a staple of their call since its inception.
“Yes, I am,” Brown said in her most Southern voice. “I like water crackers. I don’t want Ritz crackers. I’ve very exclusive.”
With Brock in Texas and Brown in Georgia, their lively conversation brimming with laughter didn’t skip a beat. I’m a nurturer by nature Brock said. “I enjoy making sure she’s good.”
A decades-old relationship, Brock met Brown when he joined her luxury transportation business.
“We had an immediate connection,” Brock said. “It’s hard to remember when we weren’t friends.”
Common interests quickly united the two. “We are both storytellers,” Brock said. “It’s one of the things that holds us together.”
Stories unfolded of Brown’s attendance at the “Gone With the Wind” premiere in Atlanta when she was five years old; she and Brock shopping for her a funeral dress at Lord & Taylor and becoming so rowdy that security was called; and Brown asking Brock to eyeball a Fleetwood Cadillac for purchase. She didn’t buy it, but Brock did meet his future husband.
An independent and self-sufficient Southern lady, Brown, a widow of 37 years, shared that her relationship with Brock superseded many of her familial ones.
What’s important is “continuing to be there for each other,” Brock said. “As we age, there are (challenges) we deal with and needs we have. As physical and health issues come up, the support — both mentally and physically — is just one of the elements that bind us.”
Every spring, Brock travels back to Loganville to visit Brown, cook their favorite dishes, and plant her garden.
“It’s an all-encompassing friendship, a gift,” Brock said. “I love Peggy, and some of that is pretty ugly and stinks. We accept each other as we are. We put things in their place and help each other. We put it on the table, laugh at it, ridicule it. Then, we put it away.”
Relocation compels new interactions
When Jessica Milkwich, 44, and Cindy Jaynes, 68, moved to Brunswick, Georgia, they knew no one. The two connected by meeting at church.
“The only hesitation was the fact that she was older, meaning she was very close to my mother’s age,” Milkwich said.
Shared interests bonded them — religious faith, political views, music, fashion, and most of all, fish tacos.
Since the friendship’s genesis, Milkwich has learned to “be less judgmental, to meet people where they are, rather than where I think they should be.”
With Jaynes’ multitude of life experiences, she guided Milkwich as a mother would, “but in a best-friend way,” Milkwich said. “She has never made me feel like a child.”
Now that Jaynes has moved back to her hometown in Arizona, the two have learned to be present in every moment, not taking the face-to-face time for granted.
“Everyone has seasons with friends … childhood friends, friends in high school, college,” Milkwich said. “Cindy is one of the few friends in my life who I could call, and no matter what the situation was, or the mistake I made, or the heartache I was feeling, she would show up with open arms.”
Leaning into the fun side of life
Twenty years of fun is only the beginning for Meagan Jolley, 42, and Donna Thomas, 63, both of Cleveland, Tennessee. They met in the church choir and eased into conversation. Thomas thought Jolley would be a great friend to her daughter, who was closer to her age.
“As we spent more time together, the age factor became invisible,” Thomas said.
Credit: Photo courtesy of Meagan Jolley
Credit: Photo courtesy of Meagan Jolley
By Jolley’s side, Thomas found joy as a new empty-nester, apart from her roles as wife and mother. She had time to experience life on her own terms and take more risks. Jolley encouraged Thomas to shop at Tiffany’s in New York City, record a track at Muscle Shoals Sound Studios, and enjoy new spa treatments and fashions. In turn, Thomas taught Jolley how to make biscuits.
“Often, I forget that I’m not her age and should probably not follow all her fashion tips,” Thomas said. “Maybe there should be a limit to how much animal print one should wear.
“Even more than before, I strive to not see others through the lens of their age or other factors that are incidental to who the person is. Explore the world around you, and be sure to take someone with you on the journey.”
For Jolley, this friendship has helped her “see the importance of prioritizing deep, ironclad relationships. Each week, we block off time for conversation, to focus on nurturing our relationship.”
Jolley considers this the greatest friendship of her lifetime.
Love of travel creates global friendships
For Hazel Burnham, 66, and Kathie Parkinson, age 85, both from the UK, their love of travel has connected them to women all around the world through Women Welcome Women World Wide, or 5W. For female solo travelers ages 18 and older, this common passion facilitated relationships that otherwise would not have existed.
Burnham and Parkinson first met at a 5W gathering in London.
“I was drawn to Kathie as she is a very warm, friendly, kind person,” Burham said. “Age never occurred to me. All I see is the person and whether we get on.”
Seniors have more life experiences and great stories to tell, showing “how life can be lived. It is certainly making me into the person I will be in the future,” Burnham said.
Parkinson visited Mongolia last year, and this year, it will be Africa. Burnham believes “intergenerational relationships give you a different perspective. When you realize the possibilities and how life can be lived, you change your opinion on what you will be able to do.”
Credit: Photo courtesy of Lynne Siemon
Credit: Photo courtesy of Lynne Siemon
Likewise, Lynne Siemon, 68, met Josette Wood, and Sandy Holm, both 83, through 5W.
“We already had much in common in spite of our age difference,” Siemon said.
The three traveled together for six weeks, hopscotching throughout Australia by plane, bus, automobile, and even caravan.
“I have learned that no matter what age you are, your experiences matter,” Siemon said. “I wouldn’t be the person I am today without these marvelous women.”
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