SAN FRANCISCO — After Charlie Morton notched the latest accomplishment in his impressive and lengthy career – recording his 2,000th strikeout – he was asked what his current self would tell his younger self now that he has learned and experienced so much.
“I wish I had settled into my delivery and my (arm) slot. I wish I had figured out all those things that I had figured out over time,” Morton said. “It took a lot of time and a lot of failure, and I feel like I’ve let a lot of people down along the way. But it also made it so I didn’t. There were a lot of moments where I did my job, when it mattered. So that’s rewarding in itself.
“My career arc has made it difficult for my family. That’s where I struggle the most. Because if it had been normal, like, hey, you figure it out, you’re 26, 27, and you really come into your own, you hit free agency, you sign a contract, and then you’re home and you can kick your feet up when you retire at 35, 36. And now, I’m missing a lot of time with my kids and my wife. I think that’s where the struggle from that has been. But I’m really grateful. I’m really grateful that I got those opportunities to fail and I got the ball again and people believe in me, and enough people believed in me. So, here I am.”
This is actually a fitting summation of where Morton is at in his career. He has won two World Series. He has pitched in the biggest games. He has played with everyone imaginable. It did not come easy, but he has made it.
How long will he continue to pitch? Well, that depends. But it is clear his family will be a huge factor in that. He is 40 years old, and he understands that doing this means so much time away from his family.
Morton on Tuesday held San Francisco to two runs over six innings at Oracle Park. He became the seventh active pitcher to reach 2,000 strikeouts. He’s the 89th pitcher all-time to do it.
The start was a continuation of Morton’s roller-coaster season.
An inconsistent season
Days before he took the mound against the Giants, Morton sat with The Atlanta Journal-Constitution for an interview. A reporter wanted to know how he felt about 2024.
His initial thoughts on his season:
“I don’t know because it’s like I have a good game and then a bad game, and I’ll not give up a ball to the deep outfield, and then I’ll give up three homers or four homers in a game.,” Morton said. “It’s just very weird because when you have a bad game, the natural inclination is to find something to change. And then when things go right, you typically don’t think you should change much of anything. So I think the inconsistency, just game to game — they make that challenging. Do you look at the stuff and the results from the good one, or do you look at the bad one and then try to make changes? And if you’re doing that all the time, that’s when things get really wonky.
“If the good starts aren’t legitimate and the bad starts are the only ones that are legitimate and if the bad starts aren’t legitimate and the good starts are the only ones that are legitimate, so you really have to be objective in the way you’re looking at things.”
This lines up with the box score. Check this out.
June 15 against the Rays: One earned run over six innings.
June 22 against the Yankees: Five runs over 5-2/3 innings.
June 28 against the Pirates: 6-1/3 scoreless innings.
July 4 against the Giants: Three earned runs over 5-1/3 innings.
July 10 against the Diamondbacks: Four earned runs over 6-1/3 innings.
July 20 against the Cardinals: No earned runs (one unearned run) over six innings.
July 26 against the Mets: Five earned runs (seven total runs) over 2-2/3 innings.
Aug. 1 against the Marlins: No earned runs (one unearned run) over six innings.
Aug. 8 against the Brewers: Eight earned runs over 2-2/3 innings.
Aug. 13 against the Giants: Two earned runs over six innings.
Good, bad, good, good, OK, good, bad, good, bad, good.
Up and down, up and down, up and down.
Why it’s difficult for Morton to find an adjustment
Morton has searched for concrete adjustments – which is a balance because he doesn’t want to overcorrect and change something that never needed fixing in the first place. This is why he’s in a tough spot. He’s been poor in some spots, great in others.
For example, Morton has noticed that perhaps throwing so many four-seam fastballs low and away has allowed hitters to stay on his curveball better because they can eliminate a large portion of the strike zone. His best seasons have come when he’s elevated his heater.
But how can he be sure of anything when nothing is consistent?
“If I had a string of five bad starts in a row, I would say there’s something fundamentally wrong with how I’m pitching,” Morton said. “But if that’s not happening, it’s difficult to say I’m going to throw all my chips in on (a specific) adjustment. Because I can’t go out there and be thinking about five different things in my delivery. I can’t do that. I don’t know. I’ve been able to look back at a lot of the games especially over course of the past four or five years, and the key factor for me has been – the common denominator is well-executed four-seamers at the top or above the zone, and glove-side breaking balls in and out of the zone.
“For the past three or four years, we’ve been toying with some things. Maybe mixing in my change-up a little better, maybe like a backdoor cutter to lefties. But I feel like, am I a guy that’s going to give up seven, eight runs every time I go up there, or am I a guy that’s only going to give up a run or two? That’s the problem is that when you struggle with your identity and how that quantifies itself or how it manifests itself in the results, that’s the difficult part. I like going out there and pitching well, I like going out there and doing my job and feeling like I contributed. It makes me feel sick to my stomach when I don’t and I fail the team and I fail the staff and I fail the people that are counting on me. It’s a very volatile way to go about a season when you’re feeling like, ‘Oh, it’s good, oh, it’s really bad, oh, it’s good, oh, it’s really bad.’”
How long will Morton continue pitching?
As the regular season enters its final stages, the question has come up again: Is this it for Morton?
He’s contemplated retirement for years. In a way, the teams have made the decision for him by continuing to sign him. The Braves are close to Morton’s Florida home, as were the Rays.
Has he made a decision about next year yet?
“It’ll be dictated by my family – myself and my family, ultimately,” Morton said. “But the situation is gonna dictate that, too. The options of where I would play. Ultimately, it’s gonna be me and my family. But if the only place that wants me to pitch for them, or the only places, are across the country or in the Midwest or something, it’ll make it a lot easier. But it’s good. I came to peace with it last year. There were so many parks I went to last year where I was like, ‘Man.’ I was looking around, I was like, ‘This is probably the last time I’ll be at this park. This will probably be the last time I step foot on this field.’ And honestly, I’ve had that mentality for the past few years. I’d much prefer to go out the way that I hope to.
“I can look at my offseason preparation, I can look at my in-season work and what I’m doing in-season to stay ready and to make adjustments when I can and to stay healthy, and I can honestly say: I don’t know what else I can do. I don’t know how much more I can care. I can’t keep driving myself nuts, right? That’ll give me peace knowing, yeah, I was ready – physically, I gave everything I had in the offseason to get ready, and I did it in spring and I did it in-season for my starts. And that’s the most I can ask of myself. It might be an oversimplification, but I do care as much as I ever have, and I want the best for this team and to perform the best that I can. There is a peace in that.”
Morton said he’s always had that peace – especially in the past few years. The internal conflict that he’s felt is actually because of his family situation. Every moment spent in baseball is one away from his family.
He doesn’t feel like he’ll miss out on something in baseball. In baseball, he said, the thing that matters the most is the time with his teammates.
“And even times like this, when things aren’t going great,” Morton said, with the Braves having lost six in a row at the time. “Because that’s where the depth of life is found. It’s not found in walking off the mound when things went easy. Yeah, like, there’s a peace that you feel after you have a good outing. You can touch that for a moment – where the threat of failure and the threat of letting people down is gone, and you can decompress, because you know that those feelings aren’t gonna be there. When things aren’t going right and things aren’t going great, that feelings is there and you’re very aware of it. But that’s the feeling that drives you to get better than you would’ve been.
“After the 2015 season in Pittsburgh, when I felt like I let my whole team down, if I had let that defeat me, I would never have gotten to experience all the great moments that I’ve experienced since 2015. It’s kind of like, you have to be willing to accept the failure and bad things to appreciate the good things and be able to experience the good things, because that’s how you get better. But I would say as the years have gone on, and I’ve spent more and more time away from my family, that sacrifice of being away from my family makes those feelings that you feel – whether they’re good or bad, you start to question what you’re really valuing in life. Like, what is it really about?
“What is it really about for a father and a husband to keep playing baseball past 40 years old? I’ve now played with guys in the big leagues who were not even born yet when I was drafted. I’ve pitched against fathers and sons. I’ve seen people that I’ve played with become coaches and fathers of kids that are now in the big leagues. I don’t know what more I really want to experience in baseball, other than just be a part of it because I love it. But I’ve gotten to pitch in the biggest games that you can pitch in, I’ve gotten to experience failure in those situations, the success in those situations. And I’ve gotten to be around a lot of great people.
“I just don’t know what more there is – other than just proving to myself and other people that I can do it. That doesn’t mean a whole lot to me, honestly. What means the most is, I think, doing my job to help my team win. If I can’t do that anymore – it’s either that or injury. That’s what’s gonna truly give me conviction to walk away. Are you hurt? Can you stay healthy? Is it a struggle to get ready? Is it a struggle when you’re pitching? Is the discomfort and pain too much? Or are you just not any good anymore?”
And to Morton, if he can still hit 96 mph and spin a curveball well, he can still pitch. The fundamental tools are there.
“I’ll know if I can’t – and everybody else will know, too. They’ll know, they’ll be like, ‘He’s 89 to 91 (mph), it’s just not the same.’ I’m watching guys come up now, and it’s like, yeah, are the bullpen guys throwing 97 to 103? Yeah. Are some starts going 97 to 100? Yeah, there are some of them that are. But there’s plenty of guys that are still 92 to 93, 94.
“I think that’ll be OK for me, to walk away knowing that, that I still had 95 in the rank. It’s like, the expectations I have for myself – when you start to fall well short of your own expectations that it becomes difficult, I just feel like that’s when I’ll know.”
For now, Morton is part of the Braves’ push to the postseason. These could be his final couple of months in a Braves uniform.
Or in any uniform.
Time will tell.
