A friend who recently suffered a loss shared a powerful metaphor: Grief is like a fingerprint — uniquely personal, yet still part of our shared human experience. Over the past several months, we have learned the truth of this. We grieve differently, each finding a path through a heartbreak no family should ever face, but, in doing, so we have grown closer. We’ve realized that we need one another more than ever, which is why we have remained somewhat private as we navigate these painful waters.
Our daughter, Sophia Lekiachvili, was killed eight months ago in a high-speed, single-car crash. She was 18 and a student at Lakeside High School in DeKalb County.
Now that indictments have been issued by DeKalb District Attorney Sherry Boston’s office against the driver and parents of another teen, we feel it is the right time to share a few lessons we’ve learned, hoping they might help others.
About 10 years ago, one of us, Akaki, lost a younger brother. At the time, Akaki’s parents gently shared that, though they understood his pain, losing a child was a suffering on an entirely different level. He didn’t grasp what they meant until the day we lost Sophie. Losing parents or grandparents is heartbreaking, but it is a sorrow rooted in the past. Losing a child, by contrast, tears away an unwritten future filled with hopes and milestones that will never come. Our minds are mercifully wired not to fathom such immeasurable pain until we’re forced to face it.
Because it’s so difficult for others to comprehend, we’ve found ourselves sharing very little of our grief. Surprisingly, what helps most isn’t constant sympathy or deep conversations; it’s the everyday, normal interactions with people who treat us with gentle kindness, without focusing on our loss. These moments are a balm, allowing our weary hearts a bit of rest before we return to our private tears.
We also appreciate that just as no one can truly understand our sorrow, we cannot fully understand the heartbreak others carry from losing a child. Sophie had grown into a remarkable young adult — kind, thoughtful and on the brink of an exciting future we longed to share with her. For those who lose an infant, a toddler or an adult child who leaves behind a family, the emotions take a different shape. Our experiences differ, but the common thread is that no family should have to endure such unimaginable loss. By acknowledging and respecting the uniqueness of each person’s sorrow, we extend empathy and compassion, even when words fail us.
In the busy rush of daily life, it’s easy to miss how blessed we are to have friends, neighbors and a caring community, especially when social media and the news so often highlight division. In the aftermath of our tragedy, we found ourselves stunned, unable to speak and unwilling to see anyone for days. It was then that our community, school, friends and neighbors quietly stepped forward. They tidied our yard in preparation for visiting family, arranged the details for Sophie’s memorial service and gently offered help while respecting our feelings.
This outpouring of support has continued. People contributed in ways both seen and unseen: Some stood beside us, others worked quietly in the background and many acted without expecting recognition. Several families recently asked if they could put up Christmas lights in our yard, knowing we might not have the heart to do it ourselves. Time and again, we were reminded of humanity’s best qualities: kindness, resilience and reliability.
We need to find ways to recognize and appreciate these everyday gifts. That unassuming neighbor across the street might one day be your pillar of strength. Let us celebrate the goodness around us, making it part of our daily routine to see, cherish and nurture the bonds that hold us together.
Much of the pain we carry is that this — a high-speed crash involving teenagers and alcohol — was preventable. In seeking a way to honor Sophie’s memory, we channeled our grief into constructive action. We founded DriveSmartProject.org to offer free driver education to teenagers and to research how young people make decisions behind the wheel. Our hope is that understanding these patterns could help shape safer policies and regulations, protecting other families from the heartbreak we’ve endured.
We knew education alone would not bring true justice. Individuals who criminally contributed to the accident had to be held accountable to prevent similar tragedies. We initially believed we would have to pursue this challenge on our own, convinced that no one would match our level of commitment. We delved into the legal landscape as best we could, consulting multiple attorneys to chart a way forward.
Then came our first meeting with Assistant District Attorney Jordan Riser, and everything changed. We saw firsthand that the DA’s office was treating Sophie’s case with the gravity and care it deserved. Instead of feeling isolated and overwhelmed, we felt relieved and assured. This was no longer a solitary struggle; they were taking ownership.
The day before a grand jury convened on Dec. 4, Boston brought in her entire team to meet with us. In that single gesture, we understood that everyone involved recognized the significance of this case. It wasn’t just about one family’s tragedy; it was about doing right by the victim, protecting our community and setting a precedent for the future. Their unwavering dedication assured us that justice would be not only sought but also earnestly pursued with compassion and integrity.
Children naturally test boundaries — they explore, make mistakes and learn along the path to adulthood. We know their full maturity emerges gradually, often not until their early to mid-20s, and it’s our responsibility as a community to provide a safe environment that allows them to grow safely without cutting off their sense of curiosity. In today’s world, where teens communicate in ways that are sometimes hard to grasp, and where the lines between physical and virtual spaces blur, striking the right balance between granting freedom and ensuring safety can feel like an uphill battle.
No single approach or set of rules will fit every family, every neighborhood or every situation. There is no perfect formula, especially without the benefit of hindsight. Still, we can acknowledge that our roles as adults are interconnected. As young people move among different environments, they gather subtle lessons from each encounter, individual and place they pass through. If we can find even a basic common ground — some shared understanding of our collective responsibility — we give them more than a measure of security; we give them the best chance to grow and thrive. In doing so, we honor not just Sophie’s memory but also the potential carried by every young life entrusted to us.
We would give anything for a time machine, but there are no do-overs in life. Sophie’s last Christmas wish was simple and wise: to spend more time together as a family before she left for college. We treasured extra family dinners and walks in the park, never imagining how soon she would leave us for good. Now we know that these quiet moments matter more than anything else. Work can wait. Messages can wait. Life’s busywork pales before the chance to sit together, talk, laugh and truly connect.
If there’s one legacy Sophie leaves behind, it’s this gentle reminder: Treasure every moment you have with the people you love. Turn away from the things that pull you apart. Make time for family dinners, board games and long, meandering strolls. Reach out to friends and neighbors. Truly see one another. We only have so many tomorrows, so let’s appreciate the gift of togetherness while we still can. By doing so, we honor Sophie’s memory and every loved one who has taught us how precious each shared moment truly is.
Akaki and Karolina Lekiachvili are the parents of Sophie Lekiachvili.
