Fear of failure, fear of heights, fear of flying, fear of bugs, whatever you fear can be paralyzing. Most of us do nothing rather than confront our fear. Instead, we should probe why we are afraid and then act to overcome that fear.
As British Prime Minister Winston Churchill said, “Fear is a reaction. Courage is a decision.”
Some of us fear what will happen in the future and that fear can be used by others to control us — physically, emotionally and psychologically.
We are seeing some of that fear play out in the current presidential election, leading to false allegations being levied at immigrant groups.
Credit: AJC file
Credit: AJC file
An example: the decision to detest or hate another group often is based on fear. We hear immigrants described as criminals, leeches sucking up government services, overcrowding schools, becoming a burden to states, taking jobs that other groups used to do. In reality, those immigrants are doing jobs many of us won’t do.
That fear then causes people to categorize every person with an accent or features different from their own as illegal or suspect. They become a stereotype, loathed and distrusted.
Fear clouds the mind People forget that, for most of them, their forebears came from another country and once were looked down upon. Some came legally and some didn’t. The only native Americans are Native Americans, but they too have been marginalized.
People play on our insecurities. Many fear what will be lost if someone else is lifted up.
Fear causes us to live in silos, listening only to those who share our point of view.
Fear causes people to make poor decisions based on fiction rather than fact, on emotions rather than education.
It is amazing how attitudes change when we step out of our comfort zone and get to know those who don’t look like us, have a different culture, practice a different religion or speak another language.
When we share neighborhoods, social groups, churches … just life together, we learn we all care about crime, punishment, the economy, education, health, welfare, etc.
Those stereotypes of “other” people become moot. When we talk and listen, thoughtfully, we learn and grow exponentially.
Fear keeps us on edge and brings about impulsive and racist reactions.
That’s why Black fathers coach their Black sons on how to act when stopped by police to keep from becoming a statistic. That’s why I make sure I am well-dressed and well made up when shopping at some establishments out of town to keep from being followed by security or constantly asked, “Can I help you?”
Fear of losing something can even make it to the courts. After a U.S. Supreme Court ruling, public and private colleges no longer can look at race as a factor in admissions. Affirmative Action was ruled unconstitutional in higher education. Black and brown students lose out more than others.
But why weren’t legacy admissions included? Why should the children of alums be given preference over others who have the same test scores? Fear may have been a part of the ruling, especially when I think of the words of the late Malcolm X, “Education is the passport to the future, for tomorrow belongs to those who prepare for it today.’’
Is it out of fear that affirmative action, diversity, equity and inclusion are now profane words? Minorities will become the majority population around 2045, according to the Brookings Institution and the U.S. Census Bureau, and the largest minority population is Hispanic. And who is mainly being “othered” right now? Immigrants from Spanish-speaking countries.
Whatever the motivation we have to remember that fear is irrational. Think of fear as an acronym, FEAR: false evidence appearing real.
Identify what you fear and why. One way to do that is to write down your fears. Then do the work, the independent research, to get out of your silo. Write down counter arguments to your fears.
If the fear is paralyzing, maybe it is time to talk to a professional, a counselor or therapist, to help you identify the reason for your fear. It is also important to work on your self-esteem, so you are not easily led. Confronting your fears and working through them can be a lifesaver.
October is Breast Cancer Awareness month and many women still don’t do monthly breast-self-exams or go for an annual mammogram because “the doctor might find something.” They forget that early detection often means a better outcome. That’s how my breast cancer was found 27 years ago through my routine annual mammogram. This month fight the fear and get your exam.
Fear doesn’t have to control you; you control it with information and resolve. The words of President Franklin D. Roosevelt sum it up: “All we have to fear is fear itself.”
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