MACON — They tried to break a kazooing world record here Friday night.
If you think that sounds unusual, you should have heard them.
Imagine an ocean of wild ducks. Or many, many flies in your ears.
Someone spoke of a cicada invasion. At least one person brought ear plugs. An 80-year-old man threatened to turn off his hearing aids. And one kid wore a T-shirt with a big kazoo on it that bore the message “I Destroy Silence.”
The record that folks sought to eclipse was for the largest kazoo ensemble, which is a formal way of saying the most people gathered to honk on plastic noisemakers. The current mark was set in London in 2011 by 5,190 participants. That effort included accompaniment from the BBC Orchestra.
There was no symphony at Macon’s amphitheater on Friday, although there was a comic on the stage packing fart jokes.
But it was entertaining and, yes, musical enough. A talented kazooist warmed up the crowd with remarkably pleasant renditions of Queen’s “Bohemian Rhapsody” and Harold Faltermeyer’s “Axel F.”
Credit: Jason Vorhees
Credit: Jason Vorhees
In case you’re wondering, Macon’s kazoo connection stems from a likely fable that according to its purveyors dates to the 19th century. Legend has it that the inventors or improvers of the gizmo outfitted it with a replaceable, buzz-making membrane, and that they supposedly hatched their idea here, unveiling it at the 1852 state fair.
Never mind that the story is unverifiable, that no records or newspaper accounts of the alleged accomplishment appear to exist. For on Friday, there was nothing stopping people from across this region from joining forces to pay $5 each to amuse one another and tempt tinnitus in pursuit of everlasting Guinness glory.
Nothing, that is, short of not having enough people.
Middle Georgia’s attempt fell short by 3,000 or so kazooers. Still, where else are you going to hear a couple of thousand non-musicians toot native son Little Richard’s “Tutti Fruitti”? Or hear Maconite Otis Redding’s daughter on kazoo, humming “(Sittin’ On) The Dock of the Bay”? Karla Redding-Andrews said her father “would be honored” by such a turnout, that he’d be “totally ecstatic.”
Credit: Joe Kovac Jr.
Credit: Joe Kovac Jr.
It was the third kazooing-world-record try for Macon this century. All have failed. But then isn’t that kind of what kazoos are for? Passable instruments at best, they’re designed to come up just short — but with a smile.
“It was,” as one man heading for the exits said, “still a hell of a good time.”
What’s more, Macon is in all likelihood now at least unofficially home to the most world-record attempts involving kazoos.
Oh, and back in November, a couple of days before the presidential election, Donald Trump, on the campaign trail and inside this very amphitheater, spoke of “a record-setting number, records like nobody can believe.”
He was talking about votes, not kazoos. But word of voting came full circle here Friday night.
The comic in attendance walked on stage after the record attempt, while officials were ostensibly backstage tabulating the clearly insufficient crowd size. More than three-fourths of the kazooers filed out. The few who waited to hear the results were treated to what may have been a world record in itself.
The comedian, Ian Karmel, performed a full half hour of kazoo jokes.
He saved, as he put it, the stupidest one for last.
“What is it called when a kazoo helps women secure the right to vote?” he asked. “Kazoo-san B. Anthony.”
Credit: Jason Vorhees / The Macon Melody
Credit: Jason Vorhees / The Macon Melody
About the Author
Keep Reading
The Latest
Featured
