Sure, Volkswagen’s ID. Buzz captures the look of the original Microbus, but what about the feel?
The new ID. Buzz has caught the public’s eye. With its retro paint scheme, roomy interior and modern electric power train, the ID. Buzz has everything children of the flower-power generation need to commute in the 21st century.
However, while the new ID. Buzz may look like a retro Microbus, it’s missing some of the quirky charm that endeared the original to a generation. VW can remedy the situation by offering a few upgrades. Here are a few ideas:
Grateful Dead mode
Most modern cars offer selectable driving modes for better performance or fuel economy. Grateful Dead Mode is different. Once engaged, GDM drops the ID. Buzz’s horsepower from 282 to 75, giving it a leisurely zero-to-60-mph time of around 25 seconds.
Credit: SPECIAL
Credit: SPECIAL
Around the back, the unmistakable sound of a pancake flat-4 engine emanates from beneath the rear bumper while emitting a soot-filled smoke cloud. But wait, there’s more. Grateful Dead Mode ensures cabin occupants get treated to an erratic climate control system blasting hot air in the dead of summer and freezing rear seat occupants in the winter.
8-track tape deck
Nothing says retro like an 8-track tape player. I envision a modernized version mounted under the center console. Don’t worry about finding working 8-tracks. If your parents or grandparents owned a bus in the ’70s, there’s bound to be a box full of 8-tracks in their attic, basement or garage.
Credit: Special
Credit: Special
Now, an entirely new generation can know the joy of hearing Joni Mitchell’s “Big Yellow Taxi” fade down as Joni sings, “They paved paradise,” followed by the telltale “click-click,” and then slowly fade back to full volume as she croons, “and put up a parking lot.” Groovy.
Aromatherapy
Where many luxury brands offer the ability to pipe soothing scents through the car’s ventilation system, this unique ID. Buzz option emits a combination of leaded exhaust, 10W-40 motor oil and 1950s-grade German vinyl upholstery.
Science tells us that smell is one of the most potent inducers of lost memories, so maybe you’ll finally be able to remember those missing college years.
Retro bus steering wheel
This option lets you relive the past while simultaneously building bulging biceps. The retro steering wheel option includes a massive thin-rimmed steering wheel that can tilt up nearly 90 degrees. Once locked in place, the system disengages the power steering. Now you’re rolling (and turning) old school.
Front-mounted spare tire
The modern-day equivalent of the front-mounted spare tire could include a cover with a large round LCD screen that displays different logos. Such icons might include the VW emblem, a smiley face, a peace sign or your favorite rock band logo.
Big, round, bugeye headlights
These optional round headlights don’t replace the standard LED lenses; they just bolt on where the original van’s headlights were mounted. I’d equip them with video screens that look like eyeballs, allowing the driver to send nonverbal messages, such as an eye roll when the car ahead blocks your way or squinting when it gets dark outside.
Rotating bumper sticker window
We Americans love declaring our opinions to the world, a fact embodied by the proliferation of the bumper sticker. The problem with a sticker is it solidifies your message for the duration of its time affixed to your car, even if you change your mind about a particular topic.
Credit: Special
Credit: Special
The solution to this dilemma is not to attach a sticker to the car but instead insert it behind glass, or in this case, a multisided rotating chamber capable of housing numerous opinions ranging from your favorite football team to your family’s latest stick figure addition.
The van’s touchscreen mirrors each sticker’s message, allowing the driver to select precisely the message they want to deliver at a moment’s notice. Keep on Truckin’.
Westfalia camper top
While I’m sure the aftermarket is already cooking up something similar, my version would mimic the original, complete with a pop-up tent, mosquito netting and an unbearably uncomfortable full-size mattress slightly thicker than an ice cream sandwich. Forget about comfort; we’re going for nostalgia here!
OK, I’ll toss in a few LED lights and USB ports, but the tent’s manual operation stays. Use those biceps you grew working the optional retro steering wheel, and you’ll have the tent in place in no time flat.
Joe Tralongo is an automotive writer for Kelley Blue Book and Autotrader, based in Missoula, Montana. He has been covering the automotive industry since 2000.
The Steering Column is a weekly consumer auto column from Cox Automotive. Cox Automotive and The Atlanta Journal-Constitution are owned by parent company, Atlanta-based Cox Enterprises.
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