The priest in the small church in Seffner, Fla., where I attended Christmas Eve Mass, assured us that God loves us so much he came down from heaven to live with us.
“God is with us,” he said, “in every moment of …” But he didn’t get a chance to finish his sentence because some idiot’s cellphone went off full tilt, filling the church with ear-splitting sounds.
The ringer shrieked four times as the person scrambled to get the phone out and turn it off. The priest managed to continue, however, by deftly ending his sermon with: “There’s God calling now!”
Everyone burst into laughter, but the red-faced idiot who had neglected to turn off her phone was so chagrined she wanted to crawl away and disappear.
Did I mention the idiot was me?
Yes, indeed, this was the one time in my life that I went to church and neglected to turn off my phone — and also had it set at the highest possible volume. When an announcement was made before Mass about turning off phones I was out getting a drink of water.
And so there I sat with my Aunt Rita and cousin John — who, to their eternal credit, took it all in stride — while I wreaked havoc in my own special way.
I can’t tell you how many times I have been at a concert or lecture and someone’s phone has gone off, and my first thought has been, “Why can’t these numbskulls turn off their blasted electronic devices instead of spoiling this event for everyone else?”
I have been among those who have glared at the offending party. I have sat there smug and self-assured in the knowledge that my own phone was tucked away in my purse, completely silenced by my own competent hands. Because, of course, I would never be the idiot whose phone would go off when it shouldn’t.
After Mass that day I apologized profusely to the priest, but he said the interruption had not bothered him at all. I begged forgiveness of the people around me, but they just beamed big smiles.
The whole experience was very humbling and just what I needed. You see, I had been puzzling about my New Year’s resolutions, and I suspected the old saws about exercising more, shopping less — and blah-de-blah — would end up on the cutting-room floor of my life after a week or so.
But, after the phone incident, I knew exactly what resolution I would make.
What about being less critical of others? And more forgiving of their foibles? How about realizing my own faults usually far exceed theirs? Now that could be something to strive for in 2014!
When I see “some idiot” cutting in front of a line, maybe I can figure they have an emergency at home. When I hear “some dimwit” blabbing on their phone in a coffee shop, I can conclude they don’t realize how loud their voice is.
And when “some numbskull” is driving for miles with their left-turn blinker on, I can assume they are distracted by a toddler in the car.
The phone call turned out to be from an “unknown caller.” Maybe it really was God, who knows? He didn’t leave a message, but perhaps he was calling to assure me that no matter how often I make a scene, speak out of turn or commit any of a million other possible blunders, he will forgive me, along with all the other unwitting fools in the world.
I can only hope.
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