I recently read a story published in Homemade magazine in 1999 that serves as an excellent illustration of the importance of a father’s influence in a child’s life.
The story is about a young man who committed a crime and was sentenced by a judge who happened to know him since childhood. The judge was acquainted with the man’s father, who was also a famous magistrate and legal scholar who authored an exhaustive legal study.
“Do you remember your father?” asked the judge. “I remember him well, your honor,” the young man replied. In an attempt to probe his conscience, the magistrate said, “As you are about to be sentenced and as you think of your wonderful dad, what do you remember most clearly about him?”
According to the story, the young man paused, looked up, and said, “I remember when I went to him for advice. He looked up at me from the book he was writing and said, ‘Run along, boy; I’m busy!’ When I went to him for companionship, he turned me away, saying, ‘Run along, son; this book must be finished!’ Your honor, you remember him as a great lawyer. I remember him as a lost friend.”
Whether the article’s illustration is a true story or fiction, it certainly reflects the reality to many young people in America and the world. According to data collected from the U.S. Census Bureau in 2017, 19.7 million children lived without a father in the home. The numbers translate into more than 1 in 4 children growing up without a father’s daily influence.
Many research studies have been conducted concerning the impact of a father’s presence in a child’s development. According to research published by the University of Pennsylvania, children who have a close relationship with their father are “twice as likely to enter college, 75 percent less likely to have a child in their teen years, 80 percent less likely to be incarcerated and half as likely to show various signs of depression.” Likewise, a 26-year-long study published in 1990 in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology by Dr. Richard Koestner concluded that “the number one factor in developing empathy in children was father involvement.”
Whether through social or psychological conclusions, there is no question that a child raised by a loving and present dad is much more likely to become a successful adult. And that success transmutes not only to the outcome of his or her life but also into their adult relationships. Furthermore, our connection with our earthly father can also affect our view and understanding of God.
Indeed, many believers’ faith in a personal God is affected by how they relate to their fathers. If a dad is caring, patient, and involved in a child’s life, it becomes natural for that person to believe that God has the same traits. The opposite can also occur if a person deals with a harsh, absent, or demanding father.
I have personally been blessed with a loving and supportive earthly father. Growing up, my dad was not only caring and patient but also very involved in my life. Therefore, when I became a Christian, believing that the same God who parted the Red Sea could be interested in my life has never been an issue. I read my bible with full expectancy and belief that my heavenly father is highly involved in my life and desires to bless, protect, provide and guide me, just as he did to those men and women in scriptures.
Unfortunately, however, many of God’s people have not had the same experience. Therefore, their expectations from God may mirror what they have received from their earthly father: not much.
If that is you today, I pray you wrap your heart around this truth: Even the best of dads fall short compared to God.
God is not like your dad.
You are like your dad: flawed, broken, and in need of a heavenly father. You may not be able to trust your earthly father because he has disappointed you time and again. But you can trust your God.
So, if your dad is not around, or you feel like you don’t have enough reason to celebrate your earthly father this Sunday, why not honor God instead? He is certainly worthy and deserving of your love and devotion on Father’s Day… and every day.
Patricia Holbrook is a columnist, author, blogger and international speaker. Her newly published Bible Study – Twelve Inches – is now available on her website www.soaringwithHim.com. For speaking engagements and comments, email pholbrook@soaringwithHim.com
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