It's Valentine's Day and you want to have the perfect date.
That's a pretty daunting task to pull off even with the best planning, said Michael Rabby, Ph.D, an assistant professor of communication studies at the University of Portland in Oregon with expertise in romantic relationships.
"There so many things you can do wrong," he said.
The pressure to plan that perfect date is often on men even if they think of Valentine's Day as an overblown, expensive Hallmark holiday, he said.
"You have to step up to the plate," he said. "You're still stuck. You still have to produce something because you will feel left out."
There is also a significant amount of pressure on women, especially if she's not in a relationship, Rabby said.
"It just the cultural expectation we put on it and they are pretty crushing actually," he said. "You feel targeted if you are single."
Many a bad Valentine's Day date has resulted in a break up. Here area few tips to save the day and the relationship:
- Get a little sentimental: Be a sweetheart. Instead of sending your love a dozen generic flowers, select flowers that are meaningful.
- Not the same dinner and a movie: "You want to do something that's different than you don't ordinarily do," Rabby said. Get creative.
- Don't be too rehearsed: "It's never going to come off as truly sincere," Ruddy said. It really is just one date. Relax, have fun and don't go overboard.
- Keep your eye on the prize: Be attentive to you date. "The Guys Guide to Romance" edited by James Bassil (Collins, $16.95) counted staring at the waitress among the top first date faux pas.
- Perfect is not one shoe fits all: Think of your date's interest. For one person, it might be good music and a good meal. Someone else might enjoy an evening in front of the fireplace with a bottle of wine and a cheese tray.
- Make it a memory: Plan a date she or he will remember. For example, About.com suggested things like skydiving or reciting a famous poem over dinner.
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