Women rally around comedian Steve Harvey's book

Peek, 28, of Midtown credits Harvey, and her friend, Ursula Balkcom, with saving her current relationship from a quick end.

"The bottom line is men are different from women," she said. "As soon as women understand that, we will have better luck with men."

That certainly isn't new advice. In fact, it sounds a lot like the Mars and Venus talk from the last decade. But Harvey has reached an entirely different group — very zealous women who know him from his days as a King of Comedy and who listen to the relationship advice he doles on his morning radio show.

In addition to propelling the book through 14 weeks on the New York Times bestseller list, women have formed discussion groups, emailed a scan of the entire book to friends (one woman was reportedly reprimanded for printing 242 pages at work), and made a habit of quoting Harvey-isms to women in need of a relationship reality check.

Guided by Harvey's rules for recognizing a man's commitment, one woman ended a four-year relationship after realizing that her boyfriend had never introduced her as his girlfriend, what Harvey calls "profess." Another left a noncommittal boyfriend who had never been established in his career, which falls under Harvey's criteria for "provide." All of this in response to advice from a man who tells jokes for a living.

"You either have the credentials or you have the experience, and most self-help, how-to, non-fiction books are written by people who have been there," said self-publishing guru, Dan Poynter. "That's the beauty of it: Books are being written by people who are talking about what they do."

Harvey's followers value his comedic timing; it makes his advice more palatable, they say. But they also view him as someone who really wants to help women decode the opposite sex.

"It wasn't a publicity stunt," said Balkcom, 34, of Dunwoody. "That's part of the reason it could reach me personally because it wasn't facetious at all. I could hear his voice saying, 'Ursula, WHAT are you doing?' " Balkcom purchased the book the day it came out. While reading, she made notes in the margins and underlined passages for quick reference.

"I really thought the book was written as a handbook for us because so many of us torment ourselves," she said. "I wish someone had written this book 10 years ago."

Wandi Steward, 45, of Atlanta, thought the book was geared to a younger audience but decided she too might benefit from the practical advice.

"I'm a little older, but I'm not married yet, so I thought, let me find out what I'm doing wrong," she said. She was left with at least one actionable piece of advice. "It makes sense to just ask a man straight out [about his intentions]. Why beat around the bush? Now I ask," she said.

Steward says Harvey isn't one of her favorite entertainers, but his book filled something of a void. "My mother and father...never gave me that advice," she said. "All they ever said was, 'Keep your dress down and your pants up.' "

Steward decided to give the book to her best friend's daughter, Dasia Gilbert, a sophomore at Ball State University in Muncie, Ind. The book appeared in Gilbert's mailbox during spring break, and Gilbert, with nothing else to do, dove in.

"I didn't know men were so simple," said Gilbert, 20. "I guess I gave them too much credit."

On campus, the book has become very popular, she said, even prompting a group of women to start a book club in which Harvey's book is the only book they read.

"They sit around and exchange experiences as well as tie them into the book," said Gilbert. "It isn't man bashing, but a way...to come together and figure out why marriage rates are low, divorce rates are high and what we can do different to change things."

Gilbert even passed the book on to her boss, who is married.

"It's so popular because it isn't a dating guide," she said. "He isn't saying you'll be in a relationship or you'll be a wife by the end of this book. He's just saying, if you're wondering why men do what they do, this is why."