Musical turkeys 2015: Jack White, Kanye West, Ariana Grande top the list

But there are some new names this year --- Ariana Grande, Jack White, Phil Collins (WHAT?! You'll see…) – and I must give thanks to my partners in pop culture nonsense, Yvonne Zusel and Nedra Rhone , for helping jog my memory about some of 2015's most inglorious music-artist-related moments.

Before you take a gander at this year’s illustrious lineup, a quick thanks to all of you who faithfully read and comment on this blog and follow me on social media. Your readership is invaluable and never taken for granted.

Happy Thanksgiving…and bring on the snark!

Credit: Melissa Ruggieri

Credit: Melissa Ruggieri

Jack White: Remember the good old days, when Van Halen was chastised for requesting M&Ms in their concert rider, but demanding that all of the brown ones be removed? Ah, that's when rock stardom was about indulging in bad habits, like smoking (Eddie, on stage) and swigging whiskey (David Lee Roth, on stage…unless it really was iced tea).

Anyway, these days, music isn’t the only thing that’s been sanitized – so have the concert riders, evidenced by Jack White’s hilarious guacamole stipulations. We’re OK with the ingredients list (ripe avocados, Serrano peppers, tomatoes, cilantro and lime), but can only roll our eyes at the following instructions: “Each avocado must be cut three to four slits down, three to four across, cubed with a butter knife, not mashed. It's to be served around 5 p.m. and not made too far ahead of time.”

And here I thought asking my mother-in-law to leave my bottled water at room temperature rather than in the refrigerator was being pushy.

If you want to check out White's sacred guac recipe, have at it.

Credit: Melissa Ruggieri

Credit: Melissa Ruggieri

Justin Bieber: I'm happy for Justin Bieber's comeback. Really, I am. He seems like a decent dude who made it his mission to fulfill every young pop star cliché: Took a misguided path, hung out with the "wrong crowd," realized he had a LOT of money to spend and figured hover boards and rented Lamborghinis were a wise investment. I was even ready to forgive the most unfortunate hairstyle this side of The Weeknd.

But just as Bieber Apology Tour hit its stride (and let us not forget the weepy VMAs performance) , the bratty behavior returned, now under the guise of, "life is hard." He stormed off stage after getting frustrated with fans in Norway, blaming it on a "rough week." And two days after performing on the American Music Awards, Bieber bailed on a couple of high-profile TV appearances for "personal reasons" and was later spotted at a biker bar in California, hanging out with friends.

So the guy needed a break. OK, understandable. But he’s 21 now. A little old to play the “I’m tired” card, especially in the midst of promoting an album that is a crucial career revival. Maybe Bieber should consult with Taylor Swift, the One Direction guys, Kelly Clarkson (who was 20 when she won “American Idol”), Carrie Underwood (22 at her “Idol” coronation) or any of the other young musicians who have figured out how to balance superstardom with, well, life.

Credit: Melissa Ruggieri

Credit: Melissa Ruggieri

Ariana Grande:  The "Break Free" singer went all "Lick it Up" this summer at a doughnut shop in California. That's a pretty good diet technique, said no one, ever.

Blake Shelton/Gavin Rossdale: I promise I'm not intentionally picking on the guys in the drama surrounding the quartet of Shelton, Rossdale, Gwen Stefani and Miranda Lambert. But they make it so easy.

If the rumors are true that the Bush frontman cheated on Stefani for years with the nanny, well, that’s prime turkey material right there for the blatant unoriginality of his actions (Hi, Ben Affleck).

And Shelton, well, sure, he and Lambert are divorced and they've gone through a very sad process without making any bitter accusations publicly. But Shelton's decision to bring Stefani – his girlfriend of about three minutes at the time – to Nashville for post-CMAs partying was, to put it kindly, mean-spirited. He and Lambert are as synonymous with that awards show as Garth Brooks and a cowboy hat and of course Shelton knew that flaunting Stefani would either crush or really tick off his ex.

Not cool.

Kanye West: Yeezus is a perennial presence on this list because it's nearly impossible for 12 months to go by without him doing or saying -- usually both -- something ridiculous.

This year, the Kanye-ness started early, when he "jokingly" interrupted Beck's acceptance speech as Album of the Year winner at the Grammys – you know, the most prestigious night in music. Ha, ha. But later that night at a post-show party, West went on a red carpet rant about Beck about how he needed to "respect artistry" and should have given his award to Beyonce (whose self-titled album was also nominated for Album of the Year).

Clearly, West has a Beyonce fixation.

Credit: Melissa Ruggieri

Credit: Melissa Ruggieri

Then came August's MTV Video Music Awards and the speech that might still be going on, at least in West's head. Not only did the wannabe fashion mogul show up looking like he was going digging for clams, but he rambled on for 13 minutes about nothing anyone can remember and then declared his future intentions to run for president.

Ego, thy name is Kanye.

Miley/Nicki/Taylor: Speaking of the VMAs, let's revisit the silliness that started when Nicki Minaj's "Anaconda" wasn't nominated for Video of the Year, which prompted Minaj to hit Twitter and blame the music industry's inherent racism. Swift interpreted Minaj's comments as a personal attack and shot back on social media that she has always loved and supported Minaj and added, "It's unlike you to pit women against each other."

Those two hugged it out onstage during the show , but Cyrus sparked Minaj's ire when she told the New York Times in an interview that ran a few days before the VMAs that she felt Minaj was starting a "pop star against pop star war." During the telecast, Minaj retaliated with some serious snark, which led to Cyrus to suggest that the interview was manipulated. Right. Because straightforward Q&As with the New York Times really can't be trusted.

Ladies, are we still in high school?

Credit: Melissa Ruggieri

Credit: Melissa Ruggieri

Phil Collins: No, he didn't do anything wrong. But some fool with clearly too much time on his hands decided to waste the time of the United Nations and start a "Phil Collins Must Be Stopped" petition on change.org after Collins announced he was coming out of retirement.

The petition closed about 650 signatures short of its goal of 5,000.

So come on back, Phil, and let us resume our air drumming to "In the Air Tonight."

Drake and Meek Mill: It's been four months since these two started trading insults and diss tracks…and I still don't know what they're fighting about.

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