Patricia Murphy: Memo to Georgians, from the GOP Department of ‘Everything’s Fine!’

RE: How it’s going so far

PRIORITY: Urgent

It’s come to our attention that some of you may be feeling anxious or, in the words of President Donald Trump, “yippy” at the 100-day mark of the second Trump administration.

We in the Department of “Everything’s Fine!” are here to tell you that, yes, everything’s fine. In fact, it’s better than fine.

It’s possible that you’ve noticed that your 401(k) has been feeling yippy, too. Or that the economy contracted by 0.3% this quarter. Or that GM reported this week it will have to pay $5 billion in Trump’s tariffs this year, and those 25% tariffs are going to show up in that pickup truck you thought you were going to buy. Maybe you also read that some Georgia business owners are so worried about the tariffs they can’t sleep or that Carter’s children’s shop warned this week that back-to-school shopping will be more expensive because of all of the new levies. But it’s important that you know that everything’s fine.

Maybe you are a small business owner trying to sell overseas or a federal employee worried about your job, or you’re a judge or a lawyer watching Trump defy court orders or anyone else saving for retirement, a first home or your child’s education, worried about recent executive orders from the president or upcoming moves from Congress.

None of that should bother you, though, because, as President Trump said during his Cabinet meeting this week, all is going according to plan.

Even supply chain disruptions from the tariffs are no big deal. “Maybe the children have two toys instead of 30,” he said and shrugged.

It’s true that The Atlanta Journal-Constitution’s latest poll showed that 55% of registered Georgia voters disapprove of the job the president is doing and that a majority also disapprove of the way he is handling the economy, tariffs, immigration and even the work of our colleagues in the Department of Government Efficiency initiative. Nearly 60% also said they’re planning to cut back on spending. But the real truth behind those numbers is that everybody in Georgia is very happy, actually.

If you don’t believe us, please see the following statements from your Republican elected leaders to prove that you are, in fact, doing amazing.

On Day 100, U.S. Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene, R-Rome, posted to social media, “My constituents couldn’t be happier with President Trump! Due to Trump’s strong border policies and bringing in investments to America, our people are safe & our economy is stronger.”

U.S. Rep. Mike Collins, a Republican from Jackson, said it’s been “the most consequential first 100 days in any American presidency. The border crisis is solved. Domestic manufacturing is back. America is respected again. DEI is dead. 100 down and 1362 to go.”

U.S. Rep. Buddy Carter from St. Simons Island called the year so far “100 Days of Putting America first,” while Athens’ U.S. Rep. Andrew Clyde declared them “the first 100 days of America’s Golden Age.”

By now, you should feel extremely confident and relaxed. And if you don’t, we encourage you to watch the president’s Cabinet meeting this week, when each Cabinet secretary sat behind their own “Gulf of America” baseball cap and told the president that he is doing even better than the rest of us.

Credit: AP

Credit: AP

“Mr. President, your first 100 days has far exceeded that of any other presidency in this country. Ever. Ever. Never seen anything like it,” said Attorney General Pam Bondi.

Interior Secretary Doug Burgum said that Trump was “not just courageous, you’re actually fearless.”

And Health and Human Services Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr., said to Trump, “Mr. President, I want to thank you for your vision, for your leadership, and for giving me the busiest 100 days of my life.”

Other secretaries had similar frank assessments.

So do not pay attention to conservative commentator Ann Coulter’s question, “Would it be possible to have a cabinet meeting without the Kim Jong il-style tributes?” Because no, it would not be possible.

To summarize, things are going incredibly awesome on all levels under President Trump. And if you don’t think so, you must hate America. Also, if anything is going wrong, it is probably Joe Biden’s fault.

As Trump pointed out when a reporter asked him Wednesday about the economy’s lack of growth and the stock market’s wild swings, he’s only been here 100 days.

“This is Biden’s stock market,” the president said. “And you could even say the next quarter is sort of Biden, too.” Please keep that in mind going forward.

Before signing off, and in the spirit of bipartisanship, we want to note that dismissing signs of trouble and telling Americans they are doing great, even when they don’t feel that way, is the exact same strategy that Democrats just used in 2024. When you told them for years that you were worried about the economy, the direction of the country and especially the health of President Biden, they ignored your unambiguous feedback. Today, we are ignoring your unambiguous feedback, too.

So Georgia, pay no attention to the polls, the markets, the tariffs, your wallet, your 401(k), your anxieties or any other negative Nellies trying to bring you down. Because, President Trump is here now, and as we will be here to remind you for the next 1,359 days, everything’s fine.